Which is worse: Trying to fire up your car on a winter’s morning or firing up Microsoft Windows on your computer? Trick question. Both are traumatizing.
Yet for the purpose of this week’s discussion, we’ll focus on Windows. It has been said that the operating system is the world’s most widespread virus. And at this moment, I would have to agree.
My PC is not in the category of IBM’s Big Blue. You’ll never see my computer taking on all comers on “Jeopardy.” By the same token, it won't get its lunch money taken by the bully on the schoolyard playground.
That being said, when I turned on my optimistically named “workstation” to, ummm, get some work done, I was greeted with the Blue Screen of Death’s kissing cousin, the Lighter Blue Screen of Misery.
The LBSM informed me that it was “Preparing Windows.” For what? A hard day of FreeCell? LOL cat pictures? Or, possibly, just possibly, the spreadsheets I needed to collate by 9am or the video editing that needed to be done by 2?
Perish the thought. While a happy circle of dots danced across my screen in the amount of time it took Methuselah to reach Middle Age, I had had a cup of coffee, knitted a sweater, and written the Great American novel. Spoiler alert: it involves lasers.
Do you ever wonder if Microsoft engineers and the folks in Silicon Valley get as frustrated as I do, trying to get work done while watching a Windows prep screen treat me like the village idiot?
My Computer Guru once told me that if you didn't drop a computer on the floor, you couldn't do anything to permanently hurt it. That is true. But not figured into the equation is Microsoft’s micro-tinkering on its Windows 10 operating system - an upgrade offer you cannot refuse.
It’s like Da Vinci painting the Mona Lisa, then having the company he bought the paints from adding a mustache. I wonder if someone could paint a DaVinci quality piece of art with Microsoft Paint? I tried with an Etch-A-Sketch once, but...moving on.
Windows 10, apparently having gathered self-awareness like “The Terminator’s” Skynet, decided we mere humans could not decide which updates we needed and which we did not.
It’s like watching a disease grow from single cell to full blown flu. The delights of Windows MS-DOS, with a 256k buffer that had frustrated users from program to program, to the Graphic User Interface of Windows that hides more secrets under the hood than an eco-friendly (but powered by coal-driven electricity) Tesla.
Believe it or not, this is not a criticism of Microsoft. While there are parts that try my (and my computer’s) patience, the company led the vanguard of consumer-friendly personal computers (and before the Mac crowd starts chiming in, please stop - you're just embarrassing yourselves).
Wow! In the time it took for me to get this off my chest, my computer has booted up, ready for another work day. Now to start editing. What do you mean, system crash? Son of a...